Tea Party Diva - Life & Craft

It seems despite their defined roles in the home and society, Victorian women had their menfolk on the run when it came to serving afternoon tea.

Victorian Afternoon Tea Etiquette for Men

Victorian etiquette dictated strict guidelines for a man’s role, as well as a woman’s. The men’s duties are described in the following excerpt from an 1897 etiquette book, as “rather onerous”.

However, compared with what was expected of a woman for a Victorian Era Breakfast, I think they got off pretty lightly.

Duties of Men at Five O’Clock Tea

Source - Manners for Men - 1897

Gentlemen are in great request at five o’clock tea. Their duties are rather onerous if there are but one or two men and the usual crowd of ladies. They have to carry teacups about, hand sugar, cream, and cakes or muffins, and keep up all the time a stream of small talk, as amusing as they can make it.

They must rise every time a lady enters or leaves the room, opening the door for her exit if no one else is nearer to it, and, if his hostess requests him, he must see the lady downstairs to her carriage or cab.

A Gentleman’s Own Refreshment - Afternoon Tea Etiquette

With regard to the viands, a man helps himself, but not till he has seen that all the ladies in his vicinity have everything they can possibly want. His hostess, or some lady deputed by her to preside at the tea table, gives him tea or coffee, and he adds sugar and cream.

Times Past