Tea Party Diva

I love reading old etiquette books. The formal language and the strict rules of entertaining and social interactions in the Victorian era is reminscent of a Jane Austen novel.

Knowing what was considered proper etiquette was taken very seriously. Victorian etiquette was by our standards, quite strict and rigid. Some etiquette guidelines can raise a smile and give a glimpse of how lifestyles and society has changed since Victorian times.

Surprisingly though, the essence of at least a few of the old etiquette rules still applies today.

Etiquette Rules from an 1888 Etiquette Guide

You should dress quietly at your own entertainments, thus avoiding the possibility of eclipsing your guests.

You should speak without arrogance to those serving you. They may be as well born as yourself.

You should strive to live down all false and evil reports, but never to contradict them.

If you have been sick yourself, say as little about it as possible, and never allude to it at the table, where you will receive little sympathy and perhaps render yourself offensive to all who hear you.

You should shun boasting. It is vulgar.

You should reject dresses that are too low necked and those that have almost every vestige of sleeve cut away.

You should, if old, show consideration for the faults and follies of the young. If young yourself, be gentle and respectful to those of riper years.

You should never take dogs with you, nor pets, unless they are specially invited.

You should never bang doors, especially entrance doors.

To laugh heartily, or to whisper unfavourable remarks during the performance of a concert or a play is a rudeness of which no gentlewoman would be guilty.

And my personal favorite… which shows how much fashions and etiquette have changed since the Victorian age…

Be careful not to show your ankles, however pretty they are.

Actually, I was torn between this one and the implication that slamming an entrance door is more of an etiquette sin, than slamming any other door. It was probably just the turn of phrase, but the thought of degrees of door slamming etiquette gave me a smile.

Times Past